How to NOT Overshare in Your Memoir
Memoir is one of the most popular types of nonfiction because of how intimate and empathetic they can be. But oversharing in a memoir can influence both flow and the ability of the reader to emotionally respond.
In this video, I outline how to avoid it.
[Transcript summary]
Writing a memoir is tricky business. You have to offer enough information to give people a cohesive story, but if you overshare, readers might get lost or turned off.
So, how do you make sure you don’t overshare in your memoir?
Ask yourself five questions.
- Is what you’re including truthful? — Sometimes, writers cut out important parts in a memoir simply because they’re afraid of making other people too uncomfortable. But your job isn’t to make sure everybody feels good — in fact, discomfort can be necessary to help people see where they need to grow and develop. Your job is to tell an authentic story, even as you stay aware of how other people might react to it. Be compassionate and respect privacy where you have to, but don’t compromise reality.
- Did the material you’re sharing change anything — that is, if you took it out, could you still get to the next scene or conclusion? If the material doesn’t change anything, you’re likely including it simply because you have emotional associations and triggers that are firing, not because it adds value to the narrative.
- Does what you’re writing amplify the point? — What are you trying to get across or teach? If the material doesn’t support that purpose or make it resonate more clearly, you don’t need it.
- Is there something similar there already? — Repetition is often a sign that you’re stuck on an issue. Ask yourself if the new material makes a different point or if you’re revisiting it from a new perspective.
- How will this influence relationships? — Disclosure can heal connections you have, but it also can damage them. Looking ahead to potential relationship outcomes will help you think critically about the value of what you’re sharing so you’re prepared for what might happen in your life once you publish.
No memoir is perfect, but paying attention to these five points will help you develop a memoir that feels cohesive and purposeful.
Are you working on a memoir, or would you like to write one someday? Tell me about it in the comments.